Sunday, November 25, 2007

Merry Mud Puppy

Sailor here.

And Zoe. Both of us are clean, we are very, very clean. I am clean because Mom took me to the Do It Yourself DogWash yesterday and did it herself. Zoe is clean because she really got into trouble this time.

The whole family is coming for Christmas Eve dinner tonight. Mom said that while she was in the throes of Christmas cooking, two dogs underfoot was two too many. And she does throw things around. I get nervous about the knives.

"Hey, guys," she said. "Go play outside."

So we did. And we made an amazing discovery. There's an enormous hole of wet muddy water in our back yard. Well, it started out to be a small hole, but became enormous because of Zoe. I thought that maybe Mom had had a yard sale and sold part of our yard. Mom says the gardeners, thinking we must live in Alaska, left the hose going just a little bit so the pipes wouldn't freeze. The hose was on for six days. I made a mental note to invite my Leonberger friends over the next chance I get. Anyway...

Zoe found the mud. Zoe became one with the mud.

The lamb in the oven, Mom got very lonely and wanted us back in the house with her. Mom called us. I came right away. Good Sailor.

Zoe ran across the lawn behind me, and Mom said, "Sailor, does Zoe look funny to you? Her legs are black. So is the tip of her tail and so is her belly. And what happened to her FACE?"

Zoe ran to us with mud dripping from her tongue. Mom groaned. I barked. Zoe panted. She said she tried to dig into the mud to tunnel under the fence. And she was right. There was a long trench full of muddy water by the hose bib.

Mom said she'd refrain from telling Zoe that Zoe was digging in the wrong direction. But she didn't tell me that I should refrain. I am keeping this a secret until the time that I really need to put Zoe in her place. Then I’ll tell her that she dug in the wrong direction.

After some leaping around (on Zoe’s part) and some silent meowing (on Mom's part), Mom stuck Zoe under the hose in the back yard. The brick patio became one with the mud. Mom became one with the mud. I stayed clean and dry.

Mom then changed her clothes and put Zoe in the car and took off. Fortunately, the car did not become one with the mud. She left me inside in my crate with an enormous cookie all to myself. Zoe didn't get a cookie.

Several naps later, Zoe came back smelling like the DogWash. Mom said she had to put Zoe through two wash cycles and two rinse cycles and then blow air all over her for almost two hours. Eight other dogs came and went in the time that Zoe was being demudded. Boy, is she ever clean! That'll teach her, I thought.

"No," Mom smiled, "She's a Siberian. She may never learn."

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