Saturday, May 30, 2009

Breakfast at the Park

Jib here.

Mom has lost her mind. She says I am competing. I am competing in a few weeks. I need to be hungry.

Well, I AM hungry.

I am hungry at the playground.

I am hungry at dog school.

I am hungry in the park.

Mom takes me to the park for breakfast. She sets up my crate. She puts my breakfast on top. Then she asks me if I am hungry.

Yes! Yes! I AM hungry.

Then she tells me to Get Ready. She tells me to Heel. She tells me to Sit and Stay. She tells me to Get Ready again. If I Get Ready really fast, I get breakfast. If I heel right next to her, I get breakfast. If I sit and watch her, I get breakfast. Or a bit of breakfast.

Sometimes I get it all. Sometimes I get many bites.

I think that maybe Breakfast in the Park is the same as Breakfast in the Backyard.

Zoe says that someday I may even have Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Who is Tiffany? I want to go to her house and Be Hungry.

Mom says that if I can Be Hungry at the dog show, I will be dynamite.

What is dynamite?

Sailor hopes it’s a large, juicy cookie, big enough to share.

Zoe says it’s something that blows up.

I don’t want to blow up.

Blowing up means a trip to the vet.

A very, very fast trip.

And it means awful things done to my insides.

I don’t want to be dynamite!

I want to be hungry. At the Park.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Oh no, my BANANA!!

Jib here.

Today I learned something. I love bananas!

Mom has bananas. She peeled a banana. She did something with a knife. Then she dropped a banana.
Sailor said, “Ick. Banana slices. You don’t want to eat THOSE!”

But Sailor was standing there. Standing over the banana. Standing. Right. There. Drooling.

So I ate it. I ate the banana.

And my mouth said, “Oboy!”

Then Mom dropped another banana. I ran for it. Sailor beat me to it. HE ate it. Ate it all up!

“Hey,” I said. “You don’t like bananas.”

Sailor gave me a funny look. “It’s all your fault,” he said. “If you weren’t right here, watching Mom cut up fruit, I wouldn’t have to eat it.”

“So don’t,” I said.

Sailor mumbled something about logic not counting.

Mom laughed and called us Bozos. She said something about competition, whatever that is. Then she put my bananas in some baggies and put the baggies into the freezer. She grabbed a BIG YELLOW banana and went outside.

Sailor and I followed her. Will we get more bananas?

I fell into heel position, waiting for bananas. Sailor fell into heel position, too. I was at Mom’s elbow. Sailor was at MY elbow. Mom walked around the lawn. She PEELED the banana.

“Sailor,” I nudged him. “Do you like banana peels?”

Sailor fell out of heel position and sat down to think. He thought long. He thought hard. Then he said, “Banana peels are the best!”

But Mom didn’t give me the peel. She threw it into the bin with the lawn clippings.

I got distracted from the banana. The neighbors are having a party. They are making noise with music and laughing.
I can smell chips and salsa. I can smell stuff that smells a little bit like the stuff Mom used to clean my ears before she tapes them to make them pretty for the photographer. Sailor says later on the neighbors will make the fire smell and have cooked meat.

But they don’t have bananas. Mom has bananas.

A car pulled up in front of our house. People got out and walked toward the neighbors. Sailor and I had to announce them. We ran to the fence and barked. And barked. And barked!

Mom called us. She doesn’t let us bark at the neighbors. Or their friends.

Sailor came running to Mom. I didn’t. I needed to bark a few more barks. So the neighbor’s friends would know I was Jib.

In mid-bark, I turned to see if Sailor was going to bark some more. He needed to tell everyone that he is Sailor.

But guess what? Mom gave him a banana!

I ran to Mom, too. I ran fast. But I wasn’t fast enough. I didn’t come right away when she called.

And Mom looked me in the eye. She smiled. And she ATE MY BANANA! She put it in her mouth and it disappeared.
She ATE it! MY banana!

I skidded to a halt in front of Mom.

Did she say, “Oh, Jib, here you go: have the rest of the banana?”

Did she say, “Oh, Jib, good boy, let me get you your very own whole banana?”

Did she say, “Oh, Jib, let me give you some cheese to go with your banana?”

Did she? NO!

She looked at me and said, “You snooze, you lose.”

To me! Who NEVER snoozes when there are bananas!

Sailor smirked. I smelled his lips to see if HE got the whole banana. I couldn’t tell.


I feel like biting something.

Like a banana.