Thursday, January 17, 2008

Deck the Halls with Grass and Mud and Pie

Sailor here.

This morning, Mom popped out of bed, looked out the window, and said, “Look, Sailor, blue sky!”

She fed me breakfast, grabbed my leash and hustled me outside for a pee. Then she bundled me into the car and we pealed out of the driveway. We drove for along time, but I knew we weren’t going to a dog show because Mom didn’t smell nervous. I knew we weren’t going to dog school because Mom didn’t smell like cheese and freeze-dried liver. Where were we going?

We parked in a puddle by a pie store.

“Pie?” I asked Mom. “Do I get pie?”

“You already had breakfast, Sailor,” Mom answered. “I’m going to have pie.”

I offered to give back my breakfast so I could have pie, too, but Mom said, “Better not,” so I didn’t. Hmmph.

Mom turned away from me to speak to the person getting out of the car next to us. I lifted my nose toward the window (long noses come in handy) and smelled my friend, Mrs. Counterclockwise-Everybody! I wagged and drooled, but nobody noticed me.

Then another car drove up and my friend, Neat-O got out! Neato! But she didn’t notice me, either. And a third car drove up and out stepped Die-Anne. Now, this person has always been very nice to me and Mom says she has a collie, too, but I am a little nervous around her because my job in life is to guard Mom and her job in life, well, just look at her name. But nothing bad has ever happened to us, so I guess her name is another of those misnomers Mom tells me about.

The four of them disappeared inside the pie store for about seven hours. {ed: that’s in DOG years and not human years}. When they came back, Mom smelled like coffee and biscuits and waffles and hash browns.

“Carbo loading?” I asked. I know all about carbohydrates from when I used to eat kibble.

“Yup,” Mom answered and we drove off, bumpity-bump over the curb.

We stopped by some mud and a fence and some grass and some trees. The backs of the other cars opened and guess what? Collies! Bow-wows of collies! My friend, Conner was there with his new little brother, Tanner. Their Mom, Neat-O, finally said hello to me. Jamie and Geordie were there and Mrs. Counterclockwis-Everybody finally said hello to me. EZ was there with Die-Anne and he was new and sniffed me and I sniffed him, politely of course, and Die-Anne finally said hello to me. Then we all took off across what turned out to be a baseball field.

We headed like a line drive into the outfield. We ran around in circles, collie style. We chased tennis balls and Frisbees and each other. We got cookies, and Neat-O even gave us salmon bits.

“Dog school, after all,” I thought. I stood by Mom and waited for her to say Heel or Front or Stand for Exam. All she said was, “Run! Go play!”

Play? Dog school IS play. But we didn’t stand for exam. In fact, we didn’t stand at all. We ran and chased and barked. Boy, did we bark.

And then we all got cookies from Neato and Die-Anne. That was the best part!

Too soon, we said good-bye and now I am so tired I can’t pick my head up from the floor to follow Mom into the bathroom. She’ll just have to keep herself safe in there without me.

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