Monday, December 1, 2008


Sailor here.

Turkey Day was terrific! I got a turkey neck, Jib got a turkey neck, and Zoe got a turkey neck. I am still confuzled about a turkey with three necks, but Mom says not to worry. There aren’t two more turkeys running around neckless. Thanks, Mom, I don’t even want to think about that!

During dinner, Jib and I hung out under the table and watched for scraps. Jib stood, looking up at the people thinking that the scraps came from up above. Silly dog. I lay down and watched the floor. I watched long and hard. And suddenly, POW! A piece of turkey appeared right in front of me! I didn’t tell Jib the truth about sudden food, though; I wanted the scraps all to myself.

But then after dinner, Mom gathered up a lot of our stuff and put it outside in the giant dog food cans by my outdoor bath tub. She says the Biffy Men will come in the morning and pick it up. Well, they do more than pick it up. They take it away. They steal our stuff!!!

Mom says that they aren’t really stealing. She is giving it to them. Where do they take it? Do they give it to homeless dogs and cats? I hope so. I hate to think of all that good stuff going to waste.

Zoe says Mom is right: the Smelly Men come very early in their Smelly Truck and take away the stuff in our Dog Food Cans. Zoe sleeps outside and knows about things like this. I sleep inside and hear the Smelly Men but I don’t see them. Jib hears them, too, but he doesn’t know that they’re stealing or he would bark and jump up and down. Mom likes to sleep in the morning, so I won’t tell him. She gives me extra scritches when she wakes up if she isn’t tired.

Zoe says that sometimes Mom gives our Dog Food Can stuff to the raccoons. The word goes out and the raccoons come at night and have a feast. Then Mom comes out in the morning and grumbles about their terrible table manners. And they DO have terrible table manners! They don’t leave anything for Zoe or give me anything either. Hmmmph.

Maybe Zoe can work on the raccoons’ table manners and next time the Smelly Men come in their Smelly Truck, there won’t be anything for them to steal.

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