Omidog!

Sailor here.

This morning, we found gophers. Actually, we never saw one, but Zoe smelled them. We were walking down the sidewalk, nice as can be, when all of a sudden, Zoe went bonkers. She flung herself sideways across Mom's feet and started sniffing and digging at the grass.

"Omidog, sniff, gopher, Omidog, gopher, Lordy, Lordy, gopher, gopher, dig, dig, dig, Omidog!"

Mom says Zoe, being a Siberian, has a very high Pray Drive, but I didn’t know what that was until today. Too bad she didn't do that in front of the church; there are lots of gopher mounds there and it would have been more appropriate.

And this afternoon, guess what came in the mail? This cool machine. Mom had a tiff with it and won. My Mom can do anything! She calls it a Leaf Blower and Yard Vac all rolled into one. I call it a Sucky-Blowie. It is loud, loud in color, loud in bark, loud in rude words (Mom's). I love it!

Mom took this machine into the back yard with much erg-ing and agh-ing. She says it's heavy and God didn't make her to lift heavy things. Then there was a LOT of grumbling because she couldn't find any destructions. She managed to put it together more or less. Then she frowned. And she took it apart. Then she put it together again. And she smiled. She turned it on. With a loud noise, the Sucky-Blowie came to life. Wowsers! Mom turned it off and started to figure out how the rest of it worked.

Mom says she will ask her son-in-law, Erik, to help her with the vac part. The problem is too many parts, not enough engineering brains, she says. The wheels, for instance, have her flummoxed. What is flummoxed? There are castor wheels (they must taste AWFUL) and round rollie wheels. How can it have both? There are round parts and long parts and round, long parts. There are hoses and nozzles and things even I can't spell. Mom can't spell them either.

Next, she figured out how to make it into a leaf blower. She turned it on. With a giant roar, it blew. It blew gravel. It blew leaves. It blew my tennis ball. It blew my rope-a-dope. I mean, it really blew. When it blew me, I knew just what to do. I lay down. I didn't move. I know a hair dryer when I see one. Mom gave me a funny smile, and said, "Sailor, you smart boy. I wonder if I can blow YOU dry with this!"

I think we will have to wait until my next Leo day to find out. I can't wait to scare the wits out of Zoe!

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