Trio of Tri's

Jib here.

My friends came to see me today. They are tri’s. Mom calls them the Trio of Tri’s. That means three tri-color collies, but today only two came over. Zoe is black and white, so that made three. So we had a trio, according to Mom, who can count really, really well. I looked for Tavish, but he didn’t get to come today. Phooey.

Zoe had to tell each of the boys who was Boss. She is the Boss Lady in our back yard. And she doesn’t let anybody forget it.

Jamie said, “Okay,” the minute he met Zoe.


Zoe put her head over Drummer’s back.

Drummer said, “Oh yeah? We’ll see about that!” He made Ugly Face when Zoe had what Mom called a difference of opinion.

Drummer wanted to be Boss Lady.

Zoe got in his Ugly Face and made Even Uglier Face. She told him SHE was Boss Lady. So he said, “Well, Okay, maybe,” and Sailor stopped wringing his paws.

Zoe and Drummer sniffed each other politely afterwards and that was that.

Mom says she’s glad Drummer is a boy. If he were a girl, Ugly Face may have escalated to Ugly All the Time. (Mom really talks like that.) But Drummer is a boy. Zoe is a girl. So they got along just fine after they figured out who was Boss Lady.

Mom says that the Tri Trio is coming to play with me soon. They will spend two or three play days and dark sleeps with me. Best of all, Tavish will be here, too. I can’t wait!

Mom says we will have Tri Collie Chaos and that Tavish will come for Zoe Boot Camp and Mom Boot Camp. I had Mom Boot Camp when I was a puppy and it was hard. I had Zoe boot camp, too, and it was a lot easier. But Mom Boot Camp got easier after a while. I wonder if it will get easier for Tavish.

Sailor says that between Mom and Zoe, he doesn’t have a chance.

Zoe Fur

Sailor here.

Mom hupped Zoe up on the grooming table this evening, outside.There was a nice cool breeze and I was drowsy, so I lay down nearby for a doze.

Well, for once Mom had her brain engaged and was standing to weather of Zoe.

She kept waking me up talking about Zoe's coat. It was blowing for the third time in four weeks.

"Look at All This Undercoat, Good Thing I Bought a New Rake, Wow!"

I woke up hearing the words, "Good Zoe, want a cookie?"

When I popped up, Mom laughed at me and said, "Sailor, you look JUST LIKE ZOE!"

I craned my neck to look at myself, and she was right. When I dozed, was I was leeward of Zoe. The breeze took care of the rest.

I am still spitting and sneezing Zoefur.

Detailed!

Sailor here.

Mom drove up in the dog car and walked in the door, announcing, “I’ve just had the car detailed and it looks great!”

I jumped on the couch and looked outside to see about my car. Yup. She was right. Detailed.

“And you’re next, Sailor,” Mom continued. “Time to detail you!”

I looked up in alarm. “What? What? You’re going to WHAT?”

I sat down hard on the floor, tucking my tail under my body. “No way, Mom,” I whimpered. “I LIKE my tail!”

Zoe vs. Mom

Sailor here.

Mom and Zoe went for a ride in the dog car. I came along for, well, for the ride.

I lay down in my crate in the back-back. Mom turned on the cold air.

Zoe wouldn't lie down in her crate in the back. She was pop-up dog. She didn't like her crate one bit.

“Mom, I wanna ride in the back seat!” Zoe whined.

Mom turned her head and looked at Zoe out of the corner of her eye.

“Sorry, Zoe, you’ll be much safer in the crate. It’s very distracting to have your nose poke me in the ear when I’m trying to drive.”

“I gotta do that, Mom. How else will I be able to tell you not to flatten that squirrel or pancake that bicyclist?”

“Maybe if you weren’t distracting me,” Mom retorted, “I could keep my eyes on the road!”

I am wringing my paws. I hope they kiss and make up soon.

Fridays are Woof Days

Sailor here.

Mom says I’ve made great strides in the Friday morning department. I used to bark when the garbage men came to steal our stuff. I used to bark a lot. It’s my job to warn Mom of what she calls impending larceny. But Mom explained that these men were actually helping us be virtuous, so I changed my tune.

Mom says that every week we put our leftovers into the smell-cans for the garbage men to pick up. They do pick them up, I’ve seen them. Mom said that they take our stuff (and some of it’s GOOD stuff!) to Phil Land. He lives over by the Bay and needs it more than we do. She says that generosity is one of the most important virtues and we can be virtuous every Friday morning.

I am glad Phil Land needs our stuff and that we can be virtuous, but it’s hard not barking when I hear Phil’s friends come for his stuff. This morning, I was asleep by the window just inside Mom’s den door and the garbage men caused me to Woof!

Mom told me to settle. I settled, but my chest still felt like woofing.

“What’ll I do next week, Mom?” I asked. “It’s hard not to woof.”

But Mom was on top of that one.

“Next week, Sailor,” she said, “I’ll close the bedroom door.”

Jib Showed Off at the Dog Show

Sailor here.

Today Mom woke us up in the dark. She threw me out in the middle of the night! I had to go into the dog yard. I didn't get breakfast.

Jib didn’t come with me. He went in the Dog Car with Mom. I was confuzled. Then I went back to sleep.

When Jib came back, he smelled like dog show crates. He smelled like dumbbells. He smelled like Tavish and Aunt Judy.

Jib went to a dog show! Actually, Mom said it was a workshop on a golf curse.

“Are you in Mopin’ now?” I asked Jib, smelling his ruff, which was not knaughty.

“No,” he said, smelling my mouth to see if I had breakfast. I didn’t.

“I am still in Nervous. But Aunt Judy let me play in Mopin’. She had an extra ticket.”

Zoe looked at Jib. “What is Mopin’?” she asked. “Does it make you sad?”

I laughed and so did Jib. I used to think Mopin’ was really called Open and the Mom would teach me to open the refrigerator. But when I learned this was not to be, I realized it was really called Mopin’.

“No, Zoe!” Jib said. “Mopin’ is fun. It is where I get to run. I get to bring back a dumbbell to Mom. I get to jump over a jump to find the dumbbell. I get to jump back over the jump and not drop the dumbbell. I get to jump over a bunch of boards, too. And I get to run to Mom and drop. Fast.”

“Did you have to Stay while Mom went far away?” I asked. This is the part I hate. This is why I only have a Compact Disc somewhere on me and not a Compact Disc named X.

“No,” Jib said, frowning a bit. “Mom stayed in front of me. But I had to Stay for a long time. A long, long time.”

“Did you hitch your bum when Mom left you?” I asked. I really wanted to know that Jib wasn’t perfect.

“Yeah,” Jib said. “And Mom came and made me right. But it was a new place. There were new dogs. I didn’t remember about my bum very well.”

I smiled and gave him a brotherly shove with my shoulder.

“What kind of cookies did you get?” I hope he didn’t get liverwurst. That is my favorite.

“Mom had hot dogs and cheese and light liver cubes,” Jib said. He drooled when he said this.

I drooled, too. I am jealous. I want light liver cubes. Maybe if I find Heel Position all day long, Mom will give me some.

I Had a Conversation with Mom

Jib here.

I was asleep. I was minding my own business. I was dreaming about when I was a wee puppy. I was dreaming about chewing on my sister’s ears. I was dreaming about learning how to climb gray steps.

Mom came and woke me up. She took off my collar. She put on her rubber apron.

Phooey.

Mom gave me a bath. I didn’t need one. Really I didn’t. But Mom said it was because I had one of those poops that make me scoot on the grass. She said my kilts weren’t very clean.

Mom said she also gave me a bath because my ruff was naughty.

Zoe said that my ruff was naughty with a K. My ruff wasn’t TOO knaughty. Not knaughty enough for a bath. Really.

But Mom said yes. She said we are going to a dog show tomorrow so my ruff and kilts have to be beautiful. When my ruff has knaughts, she always gives me a bath. And a bath makes it easy to brush my ruff.

So I had a bath. I was not happy.

While I was being blowed and blowed, Mom and I had a talk. Zoe came near me to listen. Sailor lay down near the cheese table to listen, too.

“Jibby, if I had known how difficult your coat was going to be,” Mom said, “I may have reconsidered neutering you.”

“What is neutering?” I asked.

“That’s when the vet removed your testicles,” Mom said.

I crossed my back legs. Mom made me straighten up again.

“Where did they go?” I asked when I had recovered.

Mom stopped brushing me. She looked into the sky.

“I think they are waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge,” she said.

“Can I have them back?” I asked.

“Yes. When you go to the Bridge, you will get them back,” Mom said.

“Are mine at the Rainbow Bridge?” Sailor asked.

“Yes, Sailor,” Mom said, “Yours are at the Bridge, too.”

I looked at Mom. “Can I have Sailor’s, too?” I asked.

Mom laughed. She shook her head NO. “Sailor will probably have claimed his before you make it to the Bridge,” Mom said.

I was disappointed. But if I get my own back, than it’s not so bad.

“Will I have to have baths at the Rainbow Bridge?” I asked.

Sailor lifted his head. Zoe looked at Mom.

“No,” Mom said, “You will never have another bath.”

We smiled. All four of us.

So now I smell great. I am not knaughty any more. And I get to show off at a dog show in the morning. Sailor and Zoe have to stay home.

Nyah nyah.