On Stage

Jib here.

Mom and I can dance. We can dance on stage. That's what that big box is called. On Stage.

Sailor says a stage is something you go through before you are perfect.

I am perfect just the way I am.

And I am On Stage, too.

So there.

My Brain is Tired

Jib here.

My brain is tired. It is wiped. Wiped out. Out of my head. It may have even fallen out my nose.

Mom says I am brain dead. After today.

Today I went to dog school. I played with Mom for a long time. My brain was tired after that. Especially after the Long Sit. The VERY Long Sit.

Then Mom and I went to dance. We went to a new place. It was dark. It was inside. It had scary stairs.

Mom showed me that the stairs didn't have to be scary. They could be cheesy. They could be hot doggy. After a while, they were OK. Going down was easier than up.

Then we danced on a big box. It was a BIG box. A VERY BIG box. The sides had curtains. The back had curtains. The front was a cliff.

We danced and danced. And danced. Mom called it a rehearsal. I call it fun. And funny. And very interesting.

Mom says my brain was on overload.

So that is why I am so tired.

Sit Stay

Jib here.

Mom says she is tearing out her hair.

Mom says she is being driven to d...d... somewhere with a long name.

Mom says it's all because of my butt.

It won't sit. It won't stay. It shifts. It hitches. It twitches.

Well, Mom. Well.

I have a skinny bum. It isn't soft to sit on. It is not soft at all.

So I shift. I hitch. I twitch.

And sometimes I even stand up.

Moms says she is losing sleep over this. Because I am going to be in a dog show very soon. And I will have to Sit. And Stay. And Stay. And Stay.

And Stay.

So she made me sit on a funny chair thing. I couldn't move. Without falling off. Without losing my balance.

I Sat. I Stayed. And Stayed. And Stayed.

And Stayed.

The funny chair thing is soft. I sink into it. It works for me.

But Mom says she can't take it to the dog show.

So she is shedding and going for long drives. Without me.

What's a dog to do?

Again

Jib here.

Mom and I played in obedience, Again. Mom had liverwurst and steak!

I was happy, I was great. I remembered to hold my dumbbell and drop when Mom said, "Drop!" I remembered to jump long and heel, heel, heel.

Mom was proud. Again.

Until the Long, Long Sit. She left me. Again.

All alone. Again.

I sat. And sat. And stood up. And said, "Oh-oh," and sat again. Mom says that was a Not Quite. Again.

Mom says we have to go back to square one. Because of the Sit. We have to learn to do it right all over again. Especially me.

And Mom says she needs to find a jar of Tacky Butt.

Extra Strength.

Green is Good

Jib here.

Mom took me to an obedience trial today. That's where Mom is obedient and I get to jump.

Sometimes, though, Mom is a trial. Mom says that means that things are hard. But not today. She was fun to be with especially when we heeled. And when I got cookies afterwards!

Mom has been working on my Drop. I dropped. I also dropped the dumbbell when I brought it back to her. But she smiled anyway and I didn't drop it again. I got confuzled somehow and my mouth forgot to hold it.

I loved today until Mom made me sit and left me all alone in the ring. Alone without her. Alone with a lot of strange dogs. But I sat. And sat. And sat. And sat. When she came back to me, she was grinning louder than I remember in a long time. Mom says the Group Sit is my hardest exercise.

Mom sang all the way home in the car. She sang, "God is great, green is good, people are crazy."

I think I know who might be crazy around here. And it's not me.

Sailor says I have two legs in Mopin' and tomorrow is another day. He says Mom will be SO happy if I come home with three legs. He says there will be joy in Mudville and no one will be mopin'. I hope it doesn't rain though. I don't like wet in my eyes or mud on my feet and on my belly.

Sailor says I have six Nervous legs from long ago that Mom put in this Compact Disc around here somewhere. Sailor says I have one more Mopin' leg from earlier this year that Mom stashed in my CD, too. And now I have one more Mopin' leg from today.

But I have FOUR legs. See them? They're right there, at the bottom of my chest. They're right here at the bottom of my kilts. I wonder where all those other legs are gathered. And I wonder if there are cookies in my CD along with those legs.

Oh, why is obedience SO confuzling???