Hi, Mom, what’s up? Cookies? Gimme cookies!
What?
(long pause)
Hmmmph.
(sit)
Yum.
Leash? Where? Huh? Where?
What’s a “good drying day?” I’m not wet.
What????
(silence)
You’re going to what?
Oh, Paws Up. I can Paws Up. I can Paws Up really well!
Where am I? Where am I? Smells like Sailor. Smells like plastic. Where am I?
Ack! BARK! BARK! BARK!
Water! Water! It’s too cold! No, it’s too hot! No, it’s…It’s WET, that’s what it is, it’s WET!
(snort, shake)
Why are you wet, Mom? Huh?
Oooh, wet water. Wet feet! WET!
(stamp stamp stamp)
Ack! What’s that? Smells awful! Smells awful! Nononono!
BARK BARK!
Hurts my nose, awful smell, owwwwww! TASTES WORSE!
Was NOT my fault! Was NOT!
Cookie! Gimme a cookie! No? No?
(long pause)
Please? Huh, Mom, please?Yum. Gimme more!
(pant pant pant)
Yip! That TICKLES! Mom, that tickles! That tickles!
Let me OUT!
BARK BARK BARK!
Let me OUT! I’m in charge! Let me OUT!
(shake, shake, shake shake)
Mom, why are you dripping? Gimme a cookie!
Oh.
Okay. Please? Please?
Thanks, thanks, thanks!
More water! Let me out! Not my face NONONONONONO not my face!
(snort sneeze snort)
Was NOT my fault! Was NOT!
Cookie? Yummy.
Now what? Where are we going? I’m gonna shake?
(shake shake shake)
Towels, I love towels.
(chew, bite, shake)
Phew. It’s over. Can I go roll in the dirt?
What? Now what?
Paws up? OK. Paws up.
Cookie? Cookie?
OH NONONONONONO – BIG AIR!!!!!!!!!!!
YELP YELP BARK HOWL!
Stop the air! Stop the air!
BARK BARK BARK BARK!
NOT MY NECK! NOT MY RUFF! NOT MY EARS! NONONONONONO!
NOT MY BUM!!!
BARK! pant pant pant pant
What’s that? What’s flying in the air?
My fur? That’s MY fur?
NONONONONO I want it back! Give it back!
Aaaaaaaah, my fur!
(pant pant…silence)
Ah, it’s quiet. Ahh. Ahh.
Cookie?
NONONONONONO, YOU’RE CUTTING MY TOES OFF! MY TOES? MY TOES? YOU’RE CUTTING…
What? We’re done? Already? So soon?
Oh.
Can I get down now?
Thanks! Cookie?
(sit)
Yum.
(chewing)
Mom, why are you all hairy?
Can I go roll in the mud?
